More Beautiful with a Weave?

Natural vs. Weave. Oh boy, fasten your seatbelts.

Whether to wear natural vs. weave is a touchy and delicate subject in the black community. In my own home, and among my close girlfriends, this subject has some up frequently over the years. And when the discussion of whether to wear natural hair vs. a weave comes up, emotions almost always run high.

No one of us, after all, wants to be told that our choices are wrong.

My sister-in-law, who is beautiful and articulate and thoughtful, and who happens to have rocked the whole gamut of hairstyles — from kinky-curls to bone straight — recently sent me a video from a talk show hosted by British talk show host Trisha Goddard.

In the show, Trisha interviews two women with natural hair and two women with weaved hair. On the show, each of the women reveal their own personal hair journeys, and discuss why they choose to wear the hairstyles that they do: Natural vs. weave.

As you can imagine, voices get raised. Hands get waved in the air. And tensions get high. Watching this video, I wondered to myself: Hmm…do I really want to write about this!

When you’re discussing natural vs. weave, isn’t someone always going to feel alienated and angered? Probably.

Team Natural

The women who chose to wear their natural hair had worn straight or weaved hair in the past. They described their journey to wearing their natural hair as one of self-acceptance, self-love and learning to truly believe that what grew out of their heads was beautiful and inherently acceptable.

I think it’s important to note that for both of the natural women that were interviewed, they had not always worn natural hair. It was a journey. I believe that this is the case for many of us that choose to wear our hair natural.

One of the natural women, who was labeled an extremist (though I strongly disagree with this), detailed the traumatic history of black hair in America, and how the dehumanizing experience of slavery still shapes our perceptions of black hair and black identity today.

In Africa, hairstyling and hair adornments were used to communicate tribal identity and social stature. During slavery, captured Africans had their heads shaved, and with it, these significant identities. In America, the enslaved Africans were without their traditional grooming tools and ointments that they had previously used to care for and nurture their unique hair texture.

Thirstyroots.com has an excellent history and timeline of the history of black hair in America.

Team Weave

The women on the show that had chosen to wear straight weaves stated that how a woman wears her hair is a ‘personal choice.” This is true. Each of us has the prerogative to wear our hair in the way that we choose.

None of us has the right to dictate how another woman should wear her hair, or how another woman should feel about her hair.

However, for those of us that feel most comfortable and most beautiful in a straight weave, it’s important that we ask ourselves why. It’s important to be knowledgeable about the history of our hair in Africa and in America, and understand how that history might inform our beliefs about our hair.

One of the women interviewed admitted that she felt more beautiful with her weave.

I know that she is not alone in feeling that her hair is more beautiful when straight. I think that many of us have felt this at some time in our lives.

One of the women who chose to wear straight weaves mentioned that she had relaxed her 3 year old daughter’s hair to make it more manageable and to ‘tame’ it.

I have often heard the sentiment that natural black hair needs to be ‘tamed.’ Instead, I think, we must learn what our natural hair needs to best thrive. It is inherently different than straight hair, and has to be taken care of in a different manner!

Our natural hair is not some wild thing that requires taming. It is a unique texture that, when properly cared for, looks amazing and like no other hair type.

Wearing a Weave: The Pros

The women who wore weaves mentioned that part of the reason for their choice is that they can look instantly put together and never have a bad hair day. I do understand this choice. It can be a lot of work to groom your hair daily — no matter your texture. Most of us have had ‘bad hair days,’ and it really does impact the way that you feel.

How nice to look instantly put together each morning — without worrying about what you’ll do with your hair!

I understand that weaves, when well done, can make the morning routine much easier. And for those of us in some professions, like television and media, there can (unfortunately) be backlash against natural hairstyles.

Each of us has to make a choice. And none of us should judge the choices of another — since we haven’t walked in her shoes, we don’t know her struggles, and we know little of her journey.

Being Natural: The Pros

I have found that it is wonderfully re-affirming to feel both comfortable and beautiful in my natural hair. That’s not to say that I never straighten my hair — I do. And that’s not to say that I would never wear a weave or a wig.

The thing is this: It’s important to feel that your own hair is as beautiful as your straight weaves. It’s important to feel that what grows from your head is not ‘less than,’ not something ‘unpresentable,’ not something that requires ‘taming!’

It must be groomed, of course, and styled. But to know that you don’t have to change your hair’s texture can be a wonderful boost to the self-esteem.

And for those of us with daughters, we should be mindful of the way they perceive their own beauty and self-worth. They are watching us closely. They are modeling themselves after us. Do we want them to be proud of what grows naturally from their heads? Or do we want them to feel that it is something that must be changed, and must be camouflaged in order to be beautiful and acceptable?

Weave to Natural

Interestingly, one of the weaved women in the video did decide to get a ‘natural hair makeover.’ And in the big reveal, at the end of the show, she looked stunning. The beauty of her natural hair, with its curly coily ringlets, was undeniable. I hope that she saw that.

Bottom Line: Natural vs. Weave

For other women, I am neither team natural nor team weave. As a dermatologist, though, I am team healthy hair.

A woman’s choice of how to wear her hair can be informed by her job, her level of physical activity, her personal preferences and also her own personal journey.

I don’t have the right to tell any woman how she should wear her hair.

However, I am solidly team natural — for me. But this is my own choice, informed by my journey, my lifestyle and my own personal philosophies. Some of my closest friends wear weaves and wigs. And their choices are simply that: Their own choices.

The only thing that I ask is that each of us read and understand the history of black hair in America, and that we evaluate our choices and why we feel the way that we do. And then, the final decision is only our own.